{"id":106854,"date":"2022-11-23T16:52:31","date_gmt":"2022-11-23T21:52:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/?post_type=article&p=106854"},"modified":"2025-01-27T16:02:01","modified_gmt":"2025-01-27T21:02:01","slug":"what-makes-a-good-friend","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/what-makes-a-good-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00bfQu\u00e9 hace que alguien sea un buen amigo?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Making friends is a skill, and being a good friend is something we must work on. Throughout our lives, we learn how to be good friends. From elementary school through adulthood, we bond with different people. And we figure out how to keep those bonds. Many find that creating a friendship<\/a> begins with having something in common. But keeping the friendship is the hard part. No matter if you’re trying to find good friends or be a good friend, here are four things you can do to make and keep good friendships.<\/p>\n

Active listening<\/h2>\n

Listening is a skill that we all develop from a young age. But learning to actively listen makes us better friends<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Active listening<\/strong> is putting all the attention and focus on the speaker. You let the speaker explain their situation.\u00a0 You show that you\u2019re listening by making eye contact and nodding. You ask follow-up questions to show that you\u2019re paying attention and curious to know more. Sometimes, you repeat what they said to make sure you\u2019re understanding the problem, story, or information.<\/p>\n

Passive listening<\/strong> is when someone doesn\u2019t provide feedback. Or doesn’t ask questions to understand the speaker’s message. You\u2019ll know someone is passively listening if they say, \u201cOh, sorry, I wasn\u2019t paying attention.\u201d Or \u201cSorry, I didn\u2019t hear a thing you said for the past 5 minutes\u201d. This can make the speaker feel unheard or like what they were saying wasn’t important.<\/p>\n

One way to practice active listening is before a friend starts venting, try asking, \u201cDo you need advice, or do you just want me to listen?\u201d. This will help you listen actively throughout the conversation.<\/p>\n

Accepting boundaries<\/h2>\n

A good friend is someone who respects others’ boundaries and comfort. And they don\u2019t attempt to force others past them.\u00a0 They may question your reasoning, but they will never pressure or judge you. In life, it’s great to have friends who challenge us and encourage us to get out of our comfort zones. But a boundary is a boundary.\u00a0 And a good friend will respect you and your decisions.<\/p>\n

For example, you don’t like to go on rollercoasters, but others keep pushing you to go on one. They may claim “you’re not fun or you’re boring” because you don’t want to ride one. A good friend may ask if you want to go on a rollercoaster and then will accept \u201cno\u201d as an answer. They may ask why, but will accept the answer you give them.\u00a0 A good friend is someone who respects boundaries because they aren’t trying to push others into something they don’t want to do.<\/p>\n

Leaving the past in the past<\/h2>\n

A good friend will never use a difficult time or bad decision as ammunition against a speaker when in a fight. They won’t use your past against you to make you feel angry, upset, or disrespected. Yes, there will be times in a friendship when there are disagreements, arguments, and hurt feelings. But if you are honest and explain your thoughts, reasons, and feelings, you both may be able to reach common ground and move forward.<\/p>\n

Open communication<\/h2>\n

During the lockdown of the pandemic, I would see photos and posts online of acquaintances having weekly Zoom meetups with friends. Or mentioning the good deeds, their friends would do\u2013like dropping off groceries or meeting up in parking lots, 6 feet apart, to catch up. I found myself growing angry. Why had none of my friends reached out to me and asked how I was doing? Or offered Zoom meetups, especially during the height of the Black Lives Matter movement? I grew resentful. And when I confronted one of my friends, they pointed out that they didn\u2019t know that\u2019s what I wanted as I never told them.<\/p>\n