{"id":135443,"date":"2023-07-28T14:41:29","date_gmt":"2023-07-28T18:41:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/?post_type=article&#038;p=135443"},"modified":"2025-11-17T15:32:08","modified_gmt":"2025-11-17T20:32:08","slug":"how-do-i-tell-my-parents-their-drinking-or-using-makes-me-feel-unsafe","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/how-do-i-tell-my-parents-their-drinking-or-using-makes-me-feel-unsafe\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00bfC\u00f3mo les digo a mis pap\u00e1s que su consumo de alcohol o drogas me hace sentir inseguro?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s never easy to talk to someone about their <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/addiction\/\">drinking or substance use<\/a>, especially a parent. Chances are, you have a lot of big feelings about it. You may feel anxious, sad, angry, isolated, or even find yourself wanting distance. It\u2019s frustrating, and <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/i-dont-want-to-give-up-on-my-loved-one-with-an-addiction-but-im-burned-out\/?layout=actions_neutral\">you might feel burnt out<\/a> and angry about what\u2019s happening.<\/p>\n<p>The negative emotions you have can feel even more confusing, especially because we also feel love towards our parents. You want something to change, and you might not feel like you can cut them off because they\u2019re your parent. It\u2019s complicated, and everything you\u2019re feeling is real and valid.<\/p>\n<h2>Be honest about your feelings<\/h2>\n<p>Check in with yourself about how your parent\u2019s drinking or substance use is affecting you.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You might be worried for your parent\u2019s safety because when they\u2019re drinking, they tend to drive, and you\u2019re nervous they might get into an accident.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe you notice that you\u2019ve been feeling fearful, down, or isolating from others more than usual.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe you\u2019ve been doing things outside of the norm (crying, yelling\/screaming, running away, etc.) because you want attention.<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0It\u2019s also possible that you\u2019ve been feeling scared because your parent\u2019s drinking causes them to be explosive, abusive, or violent.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It can be hard to think about and deal with these feelings. Be aware of how you&#8217;re feeling and what you need to feel safe. To do this, start with a deep breath to slow things down. Then, you can try some of these tools:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Naming your feelings (anger, sadness, fear)<\/li>\n<li>Noticing what\u2019s happening in your body (sweating, heart pounding, upset stomach)<\/li>\n<li>Journaling your thoughts and feelings and what you think causes them<\/li>\n<li>Ask yourself questions like, \u201cWhat am I feeling?\u201d and \u201cWhat do I need right now?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Understanding what you\u2019re feeling can be the first step to taking care of yourself and being able to share your thoughts with your parent.<\/p>\n<h2>Accept this is not your fault<\/h2>\n<p>If you have a parent living with addiction, you might wonder if you caused it in any way. Know that you are not to blame. You are not the reason things get worse or that they\u2019re still using. Your parent\u2019s addiction is not your fault. You didn\u2019t cause it, and sadly, you can\u2019t fix it. It\u2019s OK if you\u2019re having a tough time accepting this.<\/p>\n<p>It may help to know that <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/what-addiction\/?layout=actions_neutral\">addiction is a disease<\/a>. When someone is sick, they see a doctor. This can bring them relief and get them on the path to feeling better. Addiction is similar. Your parent needs help. As they get the treatment and support they need, things may start to change as they work on their recovery. Recovery is a process and it takes time. People living with addiction are struggling and their actions don\u2019t always match how they truly feel. Remember that your parent still loves you. They\u2019re having a difficult time showing you because they aren\u2019t truly themselves.<\/p>\n<h2>If it&#8217;s safe, advocate for yourself<\/h2>\n<p>It can feel strange advocating for yourself with a parent, but sometimes you hit a breaking point, and you feel the need to speak up. You know what feels safe and what doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>You might feel worried talking to your parent about their drinking because it\u2019s a difficult topic. Before sharing how you feel and what you need, you can try talking to a friend, other family member, trusted adult, or <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/how-do-i-find-therapist\/?layout=actions_neutral\">un terapeuta<\/a> for support. With this person, you can work through what you might say and what change you want from your parent before you speak to them. <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/7-tips-talking-loved-one-about-their-mental-health\/\">This will help you prepare emotionally and focus<\/a> on specific requests.<\/p>\n<p>If you can, find a moment when your parent is sober. Let them know you have something you want to discuss related to their drinking. Use \u201cI\u201d statements to keep the focus on how you\u2019re feeling and what you need.<\/p>\n<p>For example, you can say something like,<em> \u201cI feel anxious during nights when there\u2019s been drinking. I feel especially afraid when there\u2019s yelling or things being thrown. I really want and need to feel safe at home.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Keep in mind that your parent probably won\u2019t change overnight. You may need to have more than one conversation about it. Your safety matters, and it\u2019s OK to keep talking about it.<\/p>\n<p>Your parent\u2019s substance use might be so overwhelming that you can\u2019t even begin to think about having this conversation. In that case, it\u2019s OK to prioritize <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/alateen\/\">finding safe people and places<\/a> you can talk to and go to when you need it.<\/p>\n<h2>What if they don\u2019t listen?<\/h2>\n<p>A person who is drinking may not be in the best headspace to hear your concerns. You might feel ignored or brushed off. That can be hurtful. If you\u2019re feeling unsafe and like your feelings aren\u2019t being heard, it can help to seek out another family member or trusted adult.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes telling others can lead to legal authorities getting involved. It\u2019s part of their job to look into situations where anyone under 18 may be unsafe. You might be worried about child protective services getting involved or getting yourself in trouble. It\u2019s OK to <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/how-can-i-get-help-without-my-family-knowing\/\">seek out others to talk<\/a> to and places where you feel comfortable.\u00a0 Know that <a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/how-can-i-set-boundaries-my-family\/?layout=actions_neutral\">setting boundaries<\/a> and keeping yourself safe is important.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, the goal is to create a safe environment for yourself and your family. As you get older, you\u2019ll likely have more opportunities to create or find that safety. Some do this by staying over with friends\u2019 houses, being with other family, or even finding a job. While things can be scary when you\u2019re very young, there is hope for your parent to change and for yourself to find safety. Don&#8217;t be afraid to keep voicing your concerns and hope that your parent can have the ears and heart to hear it.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Los art\u00edculos sobre adicciones, nuestro programa y las herramientas para autoayuda de MHA han sido posibles gracias a la generosa financiaci\u00f3n de Elevance Health Foundation.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-250650 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Elevance_Health_Institute_Foundation_horizontal-color-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"292\" height=\"65\" srcset=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Elevance_Health_Institute_Foundation_horizontal-color-1.png 2286w, https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Elevance_Health_Institute_Foundation_horizontal-color-1-768x171.png 768w, https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Elevance_Health_Institute_Foundation_horizontal-color-1-1536x343.png 1536w, https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Elevance_Health_Institute_Foundation_horizontal-color-1-2048x457.png 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 292px) 100vw, 292px\" \/><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s never easy to talk to someone about their drinking or substance use, especially a parent. Chances are, you have a lot of big feelings about it. You may feel anxious, sad, angry, isolated, or even find yourself wanting distance. It\u2019s frustrating, and you might feel burnt out and angry about what\u2019s happening. The negative &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/how-do-i-tell-my-parents-their-drinking-or-using-makes-me-feel-unsafe\/\" class=\"more-link\">Seguir leyendo<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How do I tell my parents their drinking or using makes me feel unsafe?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":23904,"featured_media":0,"template":"","age_group":[23,100,19],"condition":[90,98,119],"class_list":["post-135443","article","type-article","status-publish","hentry","age_group-11-17","age_group-over-18","age_group-under-11","condition-addiction","condition-relationships","condition-trauma-ptsd"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<title>How do I tell my parents their drinking or using makes me feel unsafe?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/screening.mhanational.org\/es\/content\/how-do-i-tell-my-parents-their-drinking-or-using-makes-me-feel-unsafe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_MX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How do I tell my parents their drinking or using makes me feel unsafe?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s never easy to talk to someone about their drinking or substance use, especially a parent. Chances are, you have a lot of big feelings about it. You may feel anxious, sad, angry, isolated, or even find yourself wanting distance. It\u2019s frustrating, and you might feel burnt out and angry about what\u2019s happening. 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