I will never change or get better

It took a while to develop our addiction. And it takes some time to fix things. Most of the time, there are several layers of things to fix when it comes to addiction. These may include our mental health, our relationships with others, or healing from trauma.  And relapse can be a part of recovery for some of us.

Truthfully, some days it will feel like we are taking two steps forward and one step back. And this is difficult to hear when you are building the momentum to begin recovery. But it’s important to remind ourselves that we need to just keep going!  Keep doing the next right thing and we will make it!

How we can change our thoughts

When I thought I could not get better, I was caught in a cycle.

We are our own worst enemies for sure. A lot of times, out of our addiction, our self-esteem has been beaten down and is low or non-existent.  It is not unusual for us to have to change our thinking when we come into recovery.

We might say things to ourselves like: I’ll never get better.  Or I can’t change. And we discourage ourselves from believing that the opposite is possible.

But these are examples of thinking traps. We have the power to change and reframe these thoughts. For example, instead of thinking I can’t get better. You can reframe this negative thought by thinking, I want to get better. Or we tell ourselves that we have to do something, and instead we can change that thought to, I get to do….

Here are some things that you can do to help you change your thoughts:

• Evaluate our people, places, and things we see and do it regularly.  Are the people, places, and things you surround yourself with positive or negative?? Do you feel that you are learning, growing, being supported and inspired by these people, places, and things?   Trying not to isolate yourself and building connections to safe people and environments is important in overcoming addiction and healing in recovery.
• Self-care is necessary when a person is making substantial changes.  Celebrate all the successes—little and big.  Self-care, and giving ourselves grace are very important when we are going through all these big changes in recovery.
• Talk to a trusted person.  Find support- therapy, 12-step meetings, church, sponsor, recovery café, peer,  anywhere or anybody you can be accountable.  Call a warmline or a support line.  It’s crucial to have support while going through recovery.  Our feelings and our thoughts and everything will go through lots of changes.
• Make a gratitude list. Focus on something good by starting a gratitude journal.  This helps change the negative talk. Sometimes it is necessary to remind ourselves that our thoughts are not reality. Our thoughts are often based on our perception of reality which is shaped by our experiences. And we can use positive affirmations if needed.

We can change our thoughts by reframing our minds and work on stopping the negative talk.  For example, every time we catch ourselves saying something negative, then we could say three positive things about that same thing.

Change Is Possible

Now I am a firm believer that anyone can change if they put the work into it. I believed that I could not change at one time and now I am doing amazing. I am thriving and life is better than I could have ever believed in the beginning.

Nobody goes through addiction or recovery from addiction the same. But for many of us, the thought of giving up what has been our best friend or crutch through this journey of life is terrifying.  It’s scary to think of going into all new territory and facing life sober.

We are entering new territory and it will feel uncertain at times, but all of this is normal!  Don’t look back!  We are going forward. Just keep doing the next right thing.

It can be done. Recovery is possible. It starts with a single step!