When people think about depression, they may think of being sad. But for many people, depression isn’t just sadness. Sometimes it feels like anger, exhaustion, hopelessness, worthlessness, or feeling like they will never be happy again.
Here are examples of what people have said depression feels like:
- Fighting an exhausting battle against yourself
- Drowning and no one sees it, and you feel helpless to the water around you
- Soul-sucking torture
- A door to an empty room with no escape
- An overwhelming sense of sadness about life and about all that you are and all you do
Two people experiencing depression can have completely different symptoms. Or how you experience depression can change. All of this is okay. Remember that no matter what your depression symptoms are, your experiences are valid.
[It’s] like floating through a fog with no discernible time or space. You can’t imagine any kind of future and you can’t remember ever feeling any different. The only thing that exists is today and not in a good way.
What depression feels like
[It feels like] a needle of pain pricking your body at every chance it gets.
Your head is surrounded by thick, black, unrelenting fog
You have a lump in your throat, as if you’re about to cry at any moment, all day
[It feels] like gravity is literally stronger. Feeling like you are being pulled down to the floor and any movement takes all of your energy.
People living with depression often report that they feel heavy, empty, or that life feels duller. Colors aren’t as bright, food doesn’t taste as good, and they feel physically and mentally numb.
Some people find themselves easily annoyed with those around them, wanting to shut out the world completely or dealing with thoughts of death. Others may struggle with intrusive thoughts that make them feel guilty, worthless, or bad about themselves. While these experiences aren’t likely to appear on a list of symptoms, they are real.
Some common symptoms of depression include:
- Feeling or appearing low, empty inside, or irritable most of the day every day
- Losing interest in activities you would normally enjoy
- Changes in appetite or weight—eating more or less; gaining or losing weight
- Changes in sleep—either not being able to sleep or sleeping too much
- Changes in activity—feeling restless inside or feeling sluggish
- Feeling exhausted even when you seem to be getting enough sleep
- Speaking or moving slowly, fidgeting, or pacing
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
- Thoughts of death or suicide
You don’t have to experience all of these to be depressed. It’s important to know that depression is a mood disorder—mood disorders happen when changes in our moods go beyond the normal ups and downs that we experience from day to day. Episodes of depression last at least two weeks at a time, but sometimes they can last for months or even years.
If you need immediate help, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org/chat. You can also text “MHA” to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Warmlines are an excellent place for non-crisis support.
How do I know if I have depression?
If you’re wondering what depression is really like, you might be questioning whether you have clinical depression. To know if you have depression or if something else is going on takes some self-reflection.
Take a moment and ask yourself these questions:
- Am I experiencing group (what doctors call clusters) of depression symptoms, and not just one symptom or experience?
- Have these changes been different from what I’m used to? For example, I am feeling more sad than normal?
- Are these changes getting in the way of living my life the way I want to?
- Have I tried to make changes, and nothing is making things better?
Answering yes to any of these questions may be a sign that something is going on that’s worth investigating. If you don’t know where to start, you can take our depression test. While it’s not an official diagnosis, it can help you better understand your experiences and figure out your next steps.
Knowing where your depression may be coming from can help you make the changes you need to start feeling better. This tool can help you start making small changes to improve how you are feeling. And this tool can help you understand what you are feeling, even if you’re feeling numb.
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