Is social media making me depressed?

Think about the last time you felt a rush from social media – the likes, comments, and attention – it’s intoxicating. Now, think back to a time when social media left you feeling empty, sad, or worthless. It’s a shocking contrast.

It’s no wonder social media can evoke so many different feelings. Every like, comment, repost, or DM triggers a blast of dopamine, the hormone tied to the pleasure and reward centers in our brains. Social media companies have honed and developed “algorithms” to boost our time on their platforms and increase revenue. An unintended consequence of this is that many people become emotionally invested and even addicted to using social media.

Let’s admit it: social media is great for connecting and spreading information. But it would be disingenuous to say it’s all smiles. If you’re here, you’ve felt sad because of social media. That’s valid. It can bring up negative feelings and affect your self-worth, but it doesn’t mean it’s making you depressed.

Research shows that there is a link between increased social media use and depression. But more research needs to be done to fully understand what that looks like [1]. It is possible that you are depressed, and social media isn’t helping. Ignoring those feelings of sadness over long periods can lead to more severe issues, like clinical depression, if left untreated.

Red flags

It can be hard to recognize when social media starts to weigh you down more than it uplifts. A good rule of thumb is to watch for clear red flags, such as comparing yourself, seeking validation, or spending too much time on your screen.

Comparison

As humans, comparing ourselves is natural. But, if you find yourself scrolling endlessly on celebrity, influencer, or even friends’ and acquaintances’ profiles, thinking you should be more like them in one way or another, that’s a red flag that something is wrong. It’s one thing to check someone’s profile out of curiosity, but it’s another issue when you fixate on these accounts and start comparing yourself to them.

Social media comparisons and FOMO, or fear of missing out, are also interconnected. You know the feeling if you’ve ever seen a group of friends hanging out at a get-together you weren’t invited to. You feel excluded, and your insecurities are amplified, leading to comparisons that negatively impact your well-being over time. Interpreting social rejection triggers a physiological response, much like physical pain. [2]

Validation

Validation is a fundamental need. It’s natural to seek praise for a job well done or to appreciate compliments about your appearance. But seeking validation on social media can lead to feeling rejected.

Some red flags include:

• If you’ve ever felt sad after seeing your messages left on seen or read.
• If you think, “If I get X number of likes, I feel great; if not, I feel worthless.”
• If you’re fixating on your follower count and have downloaded a follower-tracking app to see who unfollows you.
• Feeling great when you get positive comments, but watching your mood drop when you receive none.

Seeking validation from social media and relying on it as your sole source can lead to dependence on seeking external validation. If we’re unable to self-validate, we could experience low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression.

Too much screen time

Research on appropriate screen time varies per person and age group. [3] Most smartphones have features that track screen time and offer limits and restrictions on apps and communication. However, in general, it’s best to assume that spending more than a couple of hours on social media every day is a sign you might be struggling with something deeper, maybe even an addiction.

Digital connection

Social media is all about connection.  It’s a fantastic tool for connecting with loved ones and new friends, but it can also be a slippery slope.

Fixating on the number of followers, likes, and comments can damage your in-person relationships. You could neglect your real-life connections or become so focused on how you’re perceived that it negatively affects those interactions. Ultimately, this can harm your emotional well-being and sense of fulfillment.

That’s not to say that there are no benefits to using social media. It can foster connections and help you stay in touch with loved ones. It’s just important to understand it is not a replacement for real-life experiences and relationships.

Living your best life with or without social media

Social media should be a tool you use, not a tool that uses you. At the same time, it isn’t going away anytime soon. It will continue to be integrated into our social lives. That’s why moderation and education are the path forward. There are practical ways to go about doing this.

Set boundaries by:

• Setting a screen time limit
• Deleting the app from your home screen
• Or deleting the account altogether

Validate yourself by:

• Journaling and reflecting on your self-worth. Ask yourself: What do I like about myself?, What am I good at? etc. 
• Practicing self-compassion. Celebrate your victories, big and small. Start your day by saying something positive about yourself.

Connect with friends for support (who maybe aren’t addicted to social media):

• Reach out to your friends (and not just over text)
• Vent about social media with someone who understands and can validate your feelings

You took a big step by recognizing that you feel sad on social media, and now you can take the steps necessary to change that. Know that your worth is not tied to your presence on these platforms. With or without social media, you are worthy of affection, validation, and companionship.

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