I’m really angry at the world

Sometimes you just have to scream.

All the terrible things that happen in the world and in our lives—violence, abuse, health problems, poverty, racism, war, corruption — can make us angry. It makes sense that we feel angry at the world when so many bad things are happening. When too much happens in one day it can push us over the edge and we just say “screw it!”

For people who struggle with mental health issues, depression can make it hard to see the positive or trauma can change how we see the world. Feeling angry can make it even more challenging to manage our daily responsibilities and obligations like work, school, family, and taking care of ourselves.

Society puts pressure on us so we feel like “we’re supposed to have it together.” This may result in us trying to hide our frustration, overwhelm, and anger. But it’s okay to say: “I’m pissed off!” “I’m fed up!” “I’m angry!” Sometimes just acknowledging our anger can help us let go of it because we are honoring our real feelings. Declaring that something is wrong is the first step in trying to find a solution to cope and move forward.

Reflecting on our expectations

Sometimes our anger at the world comes from our own expectations. When things don’t work out the way they should then we feel disappointed and angry.

For example, you may have spent all weekend studying for an exam only to fail the test. Or you’ve worked really hard all year, but someone else gets the promotion you feel you deserved. This even applies on a global scale when we watch governments and politicians make decisions that hurt people—we may feel disappointed in humanity overall.

In these examples, we feel angry because we think this is how the world should  be, this is what should have happened, this is what people should have done. And the misalignment between our individual expectations and the reality of what happened makes us feel angry, frustrated, disappointed, and even sad.

When we find ourselves thinking about what should have happened, that means it may be time to reflect on our expectations and ask ourselves:

• Where does this expectation come from?
• Is it fair that I have this expectation for myself or others?
• Do I have to accept this expectation or is something I can change?

Why am I getting angry at the world when I’m the one setting the expectations?

When we set expectations that aren’t based on reality, we aren’t being fair to ourselves. Our expectations may become obligations for ourselves or for others that we believe need to be fulfilled. This can lead to a cycle of feeling stuck in these obligations and angry when they aren’t met. After we acknowledge our anger, focusing on what our anger is trying to communicate can help us get out of this cycle.

What is my anger trying to tell me?

When you are angry at the world, do what you need to do—ground yourself, touch the table, talk to someone, etc. It’s important for us to figure out how to allow ourselves to both feel angry and to move forward. And it’s also important to listen to what our anger is trying to tell us.

Here are some things that your anger could be trying to say:

• I need a break, space, or to shut down. It’s okay to say no and not be present for a little while. It’s okay to say, “Alright! I’m shutting down.” When we feel this way, instead of trying to do more, we should ask ourselves: What can I do today that I can check off and say I’ve accomplished something?  And sometimes people we love giving us time and space to do what we need to feel better can help too.
• I need to set boundaries. Sometimes our anger is telling us that we need to set better boundaries for ourselves. Ask yourself, What can I handle/ what can’t I handle? This is also a good time to evaluate what’s on your plate, figure out what your priorities are, and let go of things that you don’t need.
• I need to make sense of what happened. Finding meaning can help us find hope. Sometimes we try to find excuses because we need these excuses to make sense of things like inexplicable violence. This may look like saying to ourselves, I know bad things happen, but what can I do to assign meaning to this situation so I can heal and move forward?
• I need help or to talk to someone. Talking about your anger can help you work through it. Sometimes you just need someone to listen—not give reasons why—just listen. This can help bring the level of anger down. It’s also helpful to find a community who are also angry or dealt with similar experiences. This helps because it shows you that you aren’t alone in your anger, pain, and experiences.
• I need to accept things for the way they are. This means practicing radical acceptance. Sometimes bad things happen, and there’s no reason for it, so I need to accept things for what they are. For example, you may never get a reason for the trauma you experienced or the bad things that happen in the world. And moving forward means accepting that we may never get the answer. In life we can and do suffer, but we have to learn and help ourselves identify ways that can help us heal.