How do I feel comfortable in my body?

Most people will experience some form of discomfort with their body. Sometimes these feelings come from feeling pressured to conform to modern beauty standards. Others may feel uncomfortable in their body because it doesn’t represent or validate their gender identity. These feelings are valid.

It’s normal to have difficult feelings about your body. And knowing where these feelings stem from can help to relieve some of the discomfort.

What can I do to feel better?

One reason a person may feel uncomfortable in their body is gender dysphoria. This is when your body or appearance don’t match your gender identity. This can cause someone to feel angry, upset, depressed, or hopeless. It might feel like parts of you are missing or that there are parts you wish you didn’t have. These feelings can be really difficult to navigate. But they are valid, and you’re not alone in feeling this way!

Understanding where your feelings of discomfort come from is an excellent first step. Knowing why you feel this way can empower and inform you to take action toward feeling better.  When you are feeling discomfort in your body try to be present with that feeling. You may ask yourself questions to help determine the root cause. For example,

• Do I feel bad about this part of my body when I compare myself to others?
• Does this part of my body feel invalidating to my gender identity?

Doing this type of work and evaluating your feelings can be difficult. Make sure you check in with yourself and how you are feeling throughout. Remember that your safety and comfort are priorities, and you don’t have to do this work alone. You can work with a therapist you trust or use resources available for transgender folks.

How do I feel comfortable in my body?

There are many things you can use to lessen your body dysmorphia or discomfort. The most affordable and least invasive thing you can use is makeup. There are many helpful videos online that show you how to use makeup to add shadows and highlights to your face and body to look more masculine or feminine.

Gender affirming clothing

Clothing is another cost-friendly way to affirm your gender identity and fight discomfort. There are many small, trans-owned clothing companies that make clothing that fits gender non-conforming bodies.  You can get masculine clothing made for afab bodies from companies like Both & or Wildfang. You can find feminine clothing made for amab bodies from En Femme or GenderBender.

Another non-invasive tool you can use to change the appearance and shape of your body to enhance your comfort is shapewear.

You can use shapewear to appear more curvy and traditionally feminine. These items include:

• Padded bras
• Hip pads, butt pads, or padded underwear
• Waist cincher or corset
• Breast plates

Shapewear can also be used to create a masculine appearance. This shapewear includes items like:

• Chest binders
• Packers
• Chest and ab compression tops with muscle

Gender affirming procedures and surgeries

For some people, less invasive options aren’t enough. They may choose to have gender affirming procedures done. The most important part of having gender affirming procedures done is to learn about your options, requirements, and recovery. Surgical procedures are invasive and require a lot of care during healing.

Some non-surgical gender-affirming options include

• Feminizing hormone therapy
• Masculinizing hormone therapy
• Voice therapy
• Laser hair removal

These may be a good option as they can be more affordable treatments than gender-affirming surgeries and have fewer requirements. Working with your doctor or a local gender affirming care clinic can help you understand how to prepare for gender affirming surgery.

Some feminizing surgical options include

• Vaginoplasty: Create vulva and vagina
• Orchiectomy: Remove one or both testicles
• Facial feminization procedures: Various procedures to create a more feminine facial shape
• Reduction thyrochondroplasty: Reduces the appearance of “Adams apple”
• Chest feminization surgery: Top surgery to create a more feminine chest appearance

For more information on feminizing procedures and surgeries, check out this comprehensive article that goes over the details of the procedures, as well as risks and recovery.

Some masculinizing surgical options include

• Top Surgery/Chest masculinization surgery: Create a more masculine chest appearance
• Facial masculinization procedures: Various procedures to create a more masculine facial shape
• Hysterectomy: Removal of the uterus and ovaries
• Phalloplasty: Create penis and scrotum

You can learn more about masculinizing procedures and surgeries in this comprehensive article that goes over the details of the procedures, as well as risks and recovery.

Remember the most important thing when considering gender affirming surgery is to learn as much as you can about it. When you research gender affirming procedures, be sure to use scholarly sources – these are sources that have been reviewed. A simple way to narrow research to scholarly sources is by using sites like google scholar. You can also find more medical information about the surgeries from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons here.

The importance of community

Gender dysphoria can be an all-consuming discomfort for some people. It can feel like you’re living a life that you don’t want and that can be really scary. But there is a community of people who are affected by gender dysphoria and who feel the same things you may be feeling. And connecting with others who feel the same way as you can be so comforting.

If you don’t know where to start, you can try joining local LGBTQIA groups. If you live in a rural area, you can start here with rural LGBTQIA resources.

You can find great resources for transgender affirming care and mental health care on websites like Mental Health America. And some self-help guides on health coverage, required ID documents, and transgender legal services are available on the National Center for Transgender Equality site.

No matter which route you choose to feel more comfortable in your body, having support and community is so important! You aren’t alone in feeling uncomfortable in your body, and you don’t have to go through the struggles alone either!

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