How do I take care of myself?

Sometimes taking care of yourself is hard.

Especially when you are feeling depressed, anxious, or overwhelmed with trauma, stress, or a busy schedule. When dealing with the stress of daily life, it’s easy to forget about yourself. Or taking care of yourself feels exhausting—like another thing to do.

We may even feel that it’s selfish to place our own care above caring for others. But truthfully, we can’t care for others fully, if we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Self-care means honoring our needs like eating nutritious food, drinking water, giving ourselves space to process feelings, etc.

No matter the reason, taking care of yourself may not always feel easy. But with time, practice, and patience, it can become a regular part of our lives.

Self-care is not selfish

We often don’t prioritize self-care because we have obligations to others.  We find ourselves having to meet the expectations of those around us—as friends, children, parents, students, employees, etc. And too often we set aside our needs and feelings to meet those expectations and obligations.

But we can only neglect our own needs for so long before it catches up to us. For example, we might forget to eat and end up snapping at someone we love because we set that need aside. Or we may shut down when others need us because we haven’t taken the time to process what we are feeling.

When we take the time to take care of ourselves, we have a greater capacity to care for others. The saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup, is true. When we are tired, hungry, or depleted, we can’t be present in a way that is helpful for others or ourselves. Taking care of ourselves actually gives us more energy to care for others.

So, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for us to show up for ourselves and others.

How do I make time for self-care?

Accepting that self-care isn’t selfish is one thing, but trying to add it to your life can feel like a difficult task. Between working, taking care of others, and managing responsibilities, you may feel like your plate is full and that you just can’t add anything else.

Taking time to look at everything you’re doing will help you find what drains you and what energizes you. You may not be able to get rid of everything on your plate—you still have to go to work, go to school, and/or take care of loved ones—but it’s possible to find space for you.

If finding time to incorporate self-care feels difficult, ask yourself:

• Why do I find it hard to prioritize myself? Is there guilt or shame about self-care?  
• Is there something that I can cut back on or eliminate? 
• Is there a responsibility that I picked up that I really didn’t need to do, but I do it out of guilt? 
• Is there time in my day, week, or month, that I can carve out just for me? 
• Is there something I used to do that makes me feel better that I stopped doing? 
• Is there someone/ people who I enjoy spending time with? 
• Is there a hobby I really enjoy?
• Think about the 3-4 things in my life that help me feel strong.  What are those things? 

The first step is thinking about how different things make you feel. Doing activities that make you feel recharged is self-care. Once you determine what activities make you feel good, consider putting them into a list that you can reference when you feel that you need some self-care.

What can self-care look like?

For many of us, we’ve pushed our wellness aside. But we’re important, too, and we deserve to feel our best whenever possible. If you’ve been letting your own wellness take a backseat, it’s time to start holding yourself accountable.

Here are some examples of small things that we fit into our self-care practices:

• Taking care of our physical needs: Self-care includes when we make lifestyle changes, follow treatment plans, go to therapy and/or take medication. By putting our healing, recovery, and wellness first, these practices help us trust our minds and bodies and regain connections with ourselves.
• Saying affirmations and giving yourself praise: Taking time to give ourselves thanks, praise, forgiveness, patience, etc. helps improve how we think about ourselves. Giving yourself praise for your hard work, celebrating yourself, and acknowledging your progress are all ways that you care for yourself.
• Finding the positive in small moments: Too often, we may not always take time to enjoy the little moments in life, but these moments make us feel good. Examples include eating your favorite snack or listening to your favorite song. Celebrating the small wins and little moments is how we get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of life.
• Practicing Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you rest, relax, and reduce stress. Taking a moment for yourself to breathe, ground yourself, quiet your thoughts, or focus on them can help recharge you.
• Getting support from others: Spending time with others for many is a time for self-care.  It could be sending a text, talking on the phone, grabbing lunch, etc. Doing activities with others builds accountability and connection, and it’s great for the body and mind.

Taking a few moments to make yourself a priority is a big first step in working toward your self-care. You are giving yourself ways to decompress and allowing yourself to breathe and recharge.