Sometimes thoughts about suicide go beyond general thoughts like wishing you were dead or or not wanting to be here anymore. When hopelessness, depression, and pain find you in their grips, you can find yourself thinking more seriously about wanting to kill yourself. This might include thoughts about what you can use or how you might kill yourself. It also involves having the intention to act on that plan.
It’s not uncommon for people who think about suicide to feel strongly that they want to take their own lives. In moments of unbearable pain, this can feel like a very real solution, but it’s not. Suicide is permanent. Oftentimes, our problems are not.
I can’t stop thinking about suicide
When you’re in the midst of a crisis, it’s hard to see or think about anything else. Thinking about and planning how you might end your life can feel scary, isolating, all-consuming, or even bring you a sense of relief. You are in crisis right now. But the feeling of wanting to kill yourself won’t last forever.
Many times, what lies beneath the desire to kill yourself is the desire to end your pain and suffering. You can tackle the pain without taking your life.
Noticing warning signs in yourself can help you recognize when things are getting more serious. Thinking about suicide more often than usual, considering or looking into ways to harm yourself, hiding your behavior related to making a suicide plan, or taking steps to get objects or substances to do so, are signs that your suicidal thoughts are worsening. It’s time to ask for help.
If you need immediate help, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org/chat. You can also text “MHA” to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Warmlines are an excellent place for non-crisis support.
I’m afraid to ask for help
Asking for help isn’t easy. There’s still quite a bit of stigma around suicide. If you’ve never done so before, you may not know where to start. It’s normal to feel worried about how someone will respond or if you’ll be hospitalized.
Choose a trusted person in your life. A friend, parent, teacher, other relative, coach, or counselor are some examples. You can say something like, ‘I need to share something important with you. I’m feeling suicidal, and I’ve been thinking about how I might kill myself. I could really use your support right now.”
Sharing that you’ve been thinking about a plan lets your trusted person know just how urgent things are for you. It can also help them better understand how to help you stay safe.
More help could also include trying to see a mental health professional in an office or going to a psychiatric hospital for a longer stay. The type of treatment depends on how much you want someone to help monitor you. A hospital provides 24-hour care for several days. Or a community visit can last 50 minutes one time per week.
You might also choose to go to a hospital if you’re experiencing other mental health symptoms that need extra attention. This might include feeling disconnected from your body, hearing voices, or an inability to sleep for several days.
If you’ve had bad experiences with seeking help or being hospitalized, you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel anxious or afraid to reach out again, especially when it hasn’t gone well in the past. Your safety is what matters most. There are many ways to keep yourself safe and get immediate care when you need it.
How can I keep myself safe?
If you’re feeling suicidal, here are ways you can keep yourself safe:
- Call or text a trusted person
- Create a safety plan when you’re not in crisis and keep it handy
- Create a plan about which hospital you want to go to if you need to have an inpatient visit to stay safe
- Stay away from objects or substances you can use to harm yourself
- Write your reasons for living and keep it on your phone
- Call or text the Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box on their website at 988lifeline.org.
- Text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741
- Join a support group
- If you have a counselor, keep your appointments and be honest about your suicidal thoughts
What to do as suicidal thoughts get more overwhelming or hard to control
Taking action on a suicide plan is a sign that you are in danger and need immediate support. If you call 911 or go to the ER, the staff are likely to take you to the nearest hospital. Calling 911 or going to the ER can come with risks especially for people who experience barriers to healthcare due to racism or discrimination.
If it is possible, it is best for you to ask someone to take you to a psychiatric hospital or take yourself to sign into a hospital voluntarily. If you are having thoughts about killing yourself, planning this kind of visit ahead of time protects us by making sure we know what kinds of services are in the community that are the most healing environments.
You might want to look up psychiatric hospitals near you and decide which one you’d rather go to. You don’t need to know ahead of time when you need to go.
Checking yourself into a hospital would be the same as having an illness and needing to go to the doctors. Whether the hospital can take you in will depend on whether they have a bed available. If they do not, they might ask you to wait or send you to a hospital that has an available bed.
If it is your first time in a psychiatric hospital or with a mental health profession, you can expect they will ask questions to better understand what’s going on for you. They may ask about some of the following:
- How often you think about suicide
- If you have a plan or have taken any action to end your life
- Whether you’ve attempted suicide before
The assessment may feel overwhelming. Know that in those moments, mental health professionals have one goal in mind, your safety. That’s all that matters.