How do I take care of myself with an addiction?

When we have an addiction, many times we do not feel like taking care of ourselves.  We may not feel so good or may not have the energy. Sometimes it can be a struggle to open our eyes. We may be dealing with depression, trauma, or physical health issues. Taking care of ourselves may not be something we have done for a long time.

And that is okay! We can start with baby steps and try to reach small goals consistently.

What Self-Care Looks Like

The little things we do such as bathing, changing our clothes, and brushing our teeth can be considered self-care.  Self-care is also watching an enjoyable movie with our kids or even just straightening up the house a little.

Getting enough rest and taking medications as prescribed are especially important and can be part of our daily practice. Our idea of self-care does not have to be the same as anyone else’s. If we feel better, fuller, less stressed, or any improvement in our body, then our self-care is working.

To have emotional sobriety, we need self-care. The process of recovery is a challenging journey. It can be emotional and heartbreaking. Self-care makes it manageable. We cannot run on an empty battery, so we need to charge ourselves up.

It’s also self-care to educate ourselves and become self-aware of what our symptoms and triggers are. For example, not allowing people with toxic behaviors to have access to us is self-care. So is setting boundaries.

Boundaries must be set with people, places, and things from our past to protect our future. People will come to us for help with their problems and with their recovery if we have been open about ours. But recovery is the most selfish, unselfish program there is—it is necessary to know and protect our limits by prioritizing our own well-being.

It may seem like a lot to take of ourselves at the moment, but we can start small. And as long as we are consistent, then those slight changes become habits and grow into larger changes.  That is how we start creating a life that we love. We are worth it, and we can do this!

Changing Self-Talk

Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings, and then to negative actions and poor decisions. Negative thinking makes us feel bad and makes it hard to have a positive life. So, it’s important to get a handle on our thinking.

One way to help with the negative talk is to start a gratitude list. There is usually so much more to be grateful for than what we realize. Most of us come into recovery with a lot of negative narratives running through our heads.  Some of them are triggers for us in recovery and prolong our addiction if we are still struggling. The gratitude list puts down on paper what we have to be grateful for and changes our perception of life events.

To fight back against negative thoughts, we should ask ourselves, would we talk to a friend or someone we care about the same way we talk to ourselves? And if the answer is no, then we need to reframe our thoughts. Also, if we are surrounded by people who don’t believe in us or have their own negative thoughts, then it might be exceedingly difficult to change our thoughts.

Additionally, it’s crucial to understand what is going on in our bodies and minds in recovery. We can do this by doing a body scan and asking ourselves what we need at this moment and then do it.

But it’s also okay to not know what we need. Or, sometimes we are fine at that moment and need to know that as well. We can develop the skills to become more self-aware by listening to our bodies and taking care of our physical, social, emotional, and spiritual needs. Forgiveness for self and others is crucial. Not forgiving and holding on to resentments can lead us back to addiction.

Learning New Coping Skills and Habits

If we have been in addiction for a while, we may not remember what healthy coping skills are. For some people it helps to get physical—move our bodies, exercise, dance, or go for a walk. It’s important to do things that feel meaningful or give us fulfillment. Writing, scrapbooking, journaling, etc. are coping skills we can use to release emotion and pressure.

We may have been using some unhealthy coping skills or have some unhealthy habits we have used in the past.  We may need to take a look at how the habits or skills we use are helping us.

We can also say no if needed. No is a complete sentence by itself. It does not need to be explained. No is a form of self-care and a boundary. We need to say no sometimes to protect our peace of mind. Boundaries are extremely important for taking care of ourselves and teaching others how to care for us as well.

Finding Support

Self-care doesn’t have to be solo. Connection with others is so vital in recovery. Doing self-care with others can help with motivation. It’s also vital to surround ourselves with people who are positive, unconditionally caring, and who are not afraid to give constructive feedback. The people we surround ourselves with make an enormous impact on our lives.

Sometimes it’s good to have an accountability partner who can give us suggestions. They can check in and ask questions.  It’s also nice to have someone to do activities with you, such as going to the grocery store or movies.

In recovery, we will experience some anxiety. It’s a whole new world.  And it’s natural to have anxiety about doing new things.

Luckily, there are many types of support groups to help us navigate this new world and help us not to feel alone. There are 12-step groups, self-help groups, volunteer groups, nature/hiking groups, workout groups, reading groups, faith-based groups, mental health groups, etc.  If there is no group for what you are looking for, then consider starting one. There are also warm lines, hotlines, online support groups, and other ways to find support.

It’s not always easy to find the motivation or the time to take care of ourselves in addiction or in recovery.  It is, however, necessary. And a major part of starting our new life.  We are worth it!