I feel awkward

Your face burns, your shoulders tense, and a wave of discomfort spreads throughout your body. Sometimes, it bubbles up slowly. Other times, it crashes over you all at once. The best way to describe it is feeling awkward.

Everyone feels awkward sometimes. But some people experience awkwardness more intensely. Meeting new people can be tricky, especially if you learned to make friends when you were older or are shy. Some of us struggle with our mental health, which plays a role in feeling awkward and out of place.

Awkwardness is a normal part of life, and even if it seems never-ending at the moment, it does go away with time. Just because you feel awkward doesn’t mean you’re an awkward person. At the end of the day, everyone has awkward moments. There are ways to manage that discomfort and live life the way you want – even with awkwardness by your side.

Why we feel awkward

We all feel awkward, often due to a combination of factors. Unfamiliar, stressful environments, miscommunications, and conflict can all cause awkward situations or emotions. For example, meeting new people can be really awkward, especially if you don’t know what to say. It’s also super awkward if someone calls you out for a mistake in public. Other times, just seeing someone in an awkward situation makes your skin crawl.

For those of us living with mental health struggles like depression, anxiety, ADHD, or others, awkwardness can feel incredibly intense. When coupled with insecurities or a fear of rejection, these conditions can make dealing with awkward feelings even more difficult.

Sometimes awkward thoughts can even lead to thinking traps like, “I’m weird” or “I’m a bad person.” And we’ve repeated these thoughts so much, that we begin to believe they are true. But they aren’t, and if you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. Just because you have thoughts like these doesn’t make them valid.

You feel awkward, but that does not make you an awkward person. Dealing with awkwardness becomes easier with the right support. In fact, the feeling loses its power as soon as we learn to embrace it. For example, when you feel awkward in a social situation, you might avoid meeting new people altogether.

But, as soon as you learn to embrace awkwardness as a natural, temporary feeling that comes up in social settings, you might find that awkward feelings lose their strength. It’s difficult yet important to remember that awkward feelings always pass, even if they seem permanent.

Living with awkwardness

It’s in your power to regulate your awkward feelings. In some cases, you can even learn to embrace that awkwardness. Knowing and liking yourself is the first step. A solid understanding of who you are is the foundation for dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Why? Because when you know yourself, you build the inner security necessary to handle and process challenging feelings. You learn how to support yourself and have your own back.

One of the best ways to deal with awkward feelings is through connecting with people like you, who accept you, awkward feelings and all. Though feeling awkward can also get in the way of making friends and exploring new experiences, your social confidence is one way to get more comfortable putting yourself out there.

Finally, challenging your negative thoughts can help you cope with feelings of awkwardness. If negative thinking traps catch you in a spiral, consider activities that help guide you in overcoming negative thoughts. Recognizing and understanding what calms you during stressful situations is also a step in the right direction.

It’s okay to feel awkward – everyone does! But awkwardness doesn’t have to rule your life.