Will my suicidal thoughts ever go away?

Truthfully, you may never stop having suicidal thoughts. But this doesn’t mean that you will never feel better.

Suicidal thoughts are a common experience with chronic depression. As you come out of a depressed episode, you might see that your suicidal ideation lessens and becomes less intense. Or sometimes your life circumstances play a role in your suicidal thoughts. You may be experiencing something difficult like puberty, grief, financial loss, high stress, etc. And as your life changes or improves, you may notice that your suicidal thoughts improve too.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. While the suicidal thoughts you are experiencing might be overwhelming right now, they may not be this way forever. And there are things that you can do to help with the intensity.

What helps with suicidal thoughts?

Our suicidal thoughts can be overwhelming for many reasons. Painful memories playing in our heads on repeat that bring back up hurt and retrigger us over and over again. Maybe the voices and thoughts in our heads are louder than our own. Or other people’s expectations and hurtful statements echo in our brains. And the constant, racing, or overwhelming thoughts in our heads make us want to explode.

Even dealing with all of this, it’s still possible to still cope and feel better. Here are some ways that you can manage with suicidal thoughts:

• Find distractions and coping skills. When you are battling suicidal thoughts, coping skills can help distract you, ground you, and keep you safe. Putting these coping skills into place over time may help suicidal ideation feel less intense and help you be in more control of how you feel. Good coping skills can include keeping a journal, talking to a support person, physical movement, meditation and deep breathing, etc.
• Write it out/ journal. Journaling can be both a distraction from your suicidal thoughts and a way to get insight about when these thoughts occur. Writing down what happened before you experience suicidal thoughts and what feelings came up can help you figure out your thinking patterns. Knowing your thinking pattern helps you learn what people, places, or things lead to negative thoughts or behaviors. And find better ways to cope. Also, when you’re ready, journaling can be a starting point for whenever you want to discuss your thoughts with a mental health professional.
• Avoid unhealthy coping skills. Because of our thoughts being incredibly overwhelming, we might turn to unhealthy or risky behaviors to make them stop. Like drugs, alcohol, self-harm, etc. But this doesn’t help, it only stops them temporarily.  And suicide may be thought as a permanent way to stop the thoughts, but that’s not a way to heal. Remember, healing is possible.
• Create a crisis plan. This is something you prepare in advance, and it can help you cope when things feel out of control. A crisis plan usually includes coping skills, a list of people or support lines to contact, or information about emergency services and hospitalization. Having a crisis plan is vital, especially if the suicidal thoughts become too much.

Remember that suicidal thoughts don’t go away instantly and never come back. Even people who aren’t suicidal anymore will have bad days, especially when they are stressed. That’s why it’s important to call a crisis hotline and reach out for support.

What if I can’t handle these thoughts on my own?

Suicidal thoughts are too much and trying to handle or deal with these thoughts alone can feel like an impossible task. Like carrying a five-hundred-pound weight on our backs and expecting ourselves to be able to run fast. We can’t.  And we don’t have to handle overwhelming thoughts on our own.

Talking to a trained mental health professional—like a therapist or psychiatrist—is one of the best ways to find support with suicidal thoughts. It’s important to be honest and share in detail what you are experiencing. The more they know, the more they can help. They can provide support and treatment with coping strategies, introduce new habits or routines, or prescribe medications to help you manage daily life.

There are several other things you can do to find support:

• Talk to someone you trust. You can talk to friends, family, significant others, etc. But be prepared that they may not know how to handle this. You might start the conversation by saying, “Hey this is what I’ve been thinking of, it’s really concerning. Can you check in on me?” Let them know that thinking about dying doesn’t mean you have a plan or want to die. You’re just trying to be open and share. Supportive loved ones can help you figure out what your next steps could be. When you are ready to talk to someone, you can find information about starting this conversation here.
• Find support online. Sometimes, it feels easier to talk to a stranger or read others’ stories online, than tell our loved ones about what we are going through. There are places online like Reddit or Facebook groups where people share their experiences and offer perspective to those going through something similar. But remember, finding support online is not a replacement for doing your own research or reaching out to a mental health professional.
• Contact a helpline. Hotlines are available for when you are in crisis, and warmlines are there for when you need help. If you don’t want to talk on the phone, you can use text lines to reach out for support. If you need immediate help, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org/chat. You can also text “MHA” to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Warmlines are an excellent place for non-crisis support.
• Join a support group. It’s always important to know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. Many people struggle with difficult suicidal thoughts and find ways to cope. Joining a support group can help you find others with similar experiences and learn from them.
• Try practicing DBT. People find therapy beneficial in helping with suicidal thoughts. There are different types of therapy, but people find dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) particularly helpful. DBT helps people understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Over time, DBT can help you deal with strong emotions and change your behavior.
• Consider medication. A lot of people find that medication helps them manage their daily lives and cope with suicidal ideation.  If you decide to take medication, it’s important to make sure that you are talking to your mental health professional about whether or not your medication is working—and if your medication is making your suicidal thoughts worse.

It’s difficult to handle suicidal thoughts on your own. They don’t listen to reason, they aren’t always rational, and they’re upsetting and concerning to experience. You don’t have to handle these thoughts on your own. There’s no shame in needing help from others. You are not alone. And there are resources, support, and help available to you.