First, congratulations on being in recovery! For many people, recovery meetings are places where people come together and share their experiences, strengths, and hopes with each other. It provides encouragement and support to continue on this path.
But the decision of whether to continue to go to meetings or not is a very personal one. The answer to that is different for each person, because every person’s journey in recovery is unique.
How do I know if I still need meetings?
Someone once told me that our recovery is like a ship, the more anchors that are down, the steadier our ship will stay during a storm. If one of our anchors breaks then we put down new anchors.
Let’s ask ourselves, what is the reason we want to stop going to meetings? Is it because we think we don’t need them anymore? Honest self-reflection can help us make the best choice. We may consider:
- Do we have coping skills in place?
- Do we have tools in place to keep us steady if a life event happens?
- Do we have a strong support system?
- Do we still have cravings?
- Are there conflicts, mental or physical issues, or other stressors that might derail our progress?
Beyond thinking about why we want to stop going, asking yourself why it might benefit you to continue can help you decide, too. It’s an important decision. Our recovery is very important, too! To us, our families, and our communities!
Sometimes, life gets busy, and we want to step away from what got us substance-free and sober. If we stop going, we need to be self-aware. We want to notice when we’re restless, discontented, irritated, isolating, or thinking about using, so we can go back to meetings or get the support we need.
Seeking support in your decision
As a former addict, I am truly reluctant to do anything on my thoughts and feelings alone.
There are those of us who continue to need support after quite a long time in recovery. Life events will continue to happen. Living life on life’s terms is very difficult at times. Sometimes we just don’t know how to react to a situation. Sometimes we aren’t sure what to do. And that’s okay.
It’s a good idea to find people who can hold us accountable like sponsors, peers, a therapist, or someone who has lived experience. Bring up the idea of going to fewer meetings or stopping meetings altogether. Getting their thoughts and opinion on the matter might give you more perspective about your decision.
Isolation is a huge part of addiction. The opposite of addiction is connection. When we go to meetings, we relate to people who have been where we have been and have overcome the things we have gone through and will go through. Meetings remind us to keep coming back and to keep reaching out and working on ourselves. They remind us that we are not alone and we can always pick ourselves up and try again.
Continuing to go to meetings gives us accountability and a support system. Our supporters are there for our battles and as we put our lives back together. They often know us better than we know ourselves. And most aren’t afraid to be honest when we’re headed in the wrong direction.
Meetings can be an opportunity to give back to what helped us in our recovery. Sometimes it helps to give us purpose. We work our steps, we sponsor others. There’s satisfaction in all of that.
Reflect on where you are in your recovery journey
Remember that addiction is a disease. It will lie to us at times and tell us we are okay.
Understanding our protective factors, or behaviors or circumstances that reduce negative effects, helps us stay on track.
Examples of protective factors are:
- Faith or spirituality
- A loving family
- Healthy coping skills
- Great support system
- Positive self-concept
- Self-help activities such as therapy, other groups, etc.
- Recreational activities
- Sense of purpose
- Positive role models
In recovery, we are supposed to take everything one day at a time, especially in the beginning. It can be unnerving to think that we may have to do meetings for a long time. In recovery, we must be prepared to do the long haul.
Consider what’s helping at the moment. When we start feeling discontent, we can take inventory, see what’s going on, and talk to someone about what to do.
The decision to continue or stop meetings is personal. Take your time and weigh your options before choosing. If we decide impulsively, we may run the risk of experiencing relapse. Remember, this is your journey! You have the tools to make the best choice for yourself.